I was driving through downtown the other day, enjoying the relatively havoc-free surroundings, when some teeny bopper blasting T-Swift hurtled out of a side street directly in front of me. She proceeded to zoom off in her dented Volkswagen without offering any semblance of remorse for causing me to slam on the brakes and experience moderate whiplash.

This nerve-racking incident triggered some memories of my other encounters with incompetent drivers; nearly colliding with some nitwit who decided to fly the wrong direction down a one way road, or narrowly avoiding a little old lady swerving all over the interstate because she literally couldn’t see over her steering wheel. Or getting my bumper clipped by some guy doing donuts in the parking lot.

For me, the little things are most irritating. I realize people are going to text while driving. That’s pretty much inevitable. But when they continue sitting at a traffic light for ages because they haven’t realized it’s turned green, resisting the urge to storm over and chuck their phone out the window is difficult. I also can’t stand drivers who drift from lane to lane without warning. Yeah, flicking that turning signal is incredibly demanding.

I swear some people don’t even understand road signs. They think their owning a large vehicle is a sign that red octagons are simply roadside decorations.

But possibly more obnoxious than any other driver is the tailgater, that species of chronically impatient human beings who insist on plastering themselves to the bumper of the vehicle directly ahead only to whiz by as soon as the nearest passing lane presents itself.

There are so many people who should have their licenses viciously ripped to shreds and vaporized. Road rage is just a minor consequence of reckless drivers. Someone could be a pleasant, law-abiding citizen or the most talented driver; all it takes is one mistake of a fellow driver. If someone chooses to inflict harm on himself, that’s perfectly fine, albeit stupid, but individuals who consciously put others at risk should really stay off the road.