After reading all the Twilight books and seeing all the movies, somewhat against my better judgement, I felt I needed to see Breaking Dawn Part 2 to get some closure. I was expecting something akin to the other Twilight films – kind of stupid and at times very poorly acted, but entertaining. Instead, Breaking Dawn Part 2 was actually one of the most boring movies I have ever seen in my life.

The movie takes up where Breaking Dawn Part 1 left off- human teenager Bella had just given birth to her vampire boyfriend Edward’s bizarre, half-vampire, half-human baby thing that actually shouldn’t exist because you have to be alive to make a baby, and has been turned into a vampire herself. The first words spoken in the movie are “We’re the same temperature now.” Really, Edward? Your girlfriend has just gone through agonizing pain to become the undead, and that’s the best line you can come up with? What splendid line of dialogue.

Next the viewers are treated to watching Bella go on her first hunt, where she makes strange grunting sounds and skitters around- it’s actually so bizarre and hilariously bad I can’t really describe it. Never, in all the years since the first Twilight movie came out, have I heard someone say, “Wow, Kristen Stewart is such a great actress!” There seems to be a universal consensus that she sucks. (No pun intended.) But this movie brought her to new acting lows.

Practically the rest of the movie consisted of people staring at each other dramatically. Bella and Edward would stare at eachother for a while. Then they would go and find some vampire allies and they would stare at each other. More vampire allies. More staring. The Volturi showed up. Staring. At this point, I was just praying for the movie to end.

There was a kind of big, major, twist at the end that didn’t follow the book and was totally awesome and brilliant and I won’t ruin it for you. However, even this big, epic event couldn’t save the movie. In my opinion, the producers realized that this was the last one, so they didn’t have to worry about keeping their fanbase, and gave up.

Basically, the movie was really, really, really bad and Taylor Lautner only took his shirt off once.

On the other hand, reporter Brenna Cowardin loved the sequel. Read all about it here.