You know what’s even worse than writer’s block? Fracking. Fracking is quite possibly one of the worst things humans have ever done to something that isn’t themselves.

In case you aren’t familiar, I’ll give you a quick summary of what it is and why it’s so horrible.

In fracking, a fluid is forced into cracks in a rock, expanding the cracks until natural gas, petroleum, or some other fuel for the further destruction of our own environment is made more easily reachable for your friendly neighborhood oil company.

“But writer,” says my hypothetical reader who may or may not exist, “I don’t care that driving my hummer hurts plants or something; doesn’t that mean I get cheaper natural gas?”

Well, not to be blunt, but you’re of a selfish sort now aren’t you, hypothetical reader. This does much, much more than fund our everlasting demand for more and more fossil fuels. Among the horrible impacts of this process are water pollution, air pollution, chemical wastes, radiation, additional greenhouse emissions other than from burning the fuels, and earthquakes.

Yes, this can cause earthquakes. In fact, some sources believe the new invasive fracking techniques in West Virginia may have caused the Virginia earthquake earlier this year.

Back to that stuff about pollution: In some places, people near fracking operations reported being able to light their water on fire. For those not experts on water, it isn’t supposed to do that. The pressure from fracking has, in many cases, caused methane to be pushed into the underground aquifers of nearby cities’ drinking water supplies. Not only was methane pushed into them, but also the hazardous chemicals required in fracking.

The reason fracking is used is because it’s cheap. Very cheap. This is another problem, especially where groundwater contamination is a concern. Poorly constructed waste water pipes burst, spewing chemicals and wastes over the ground to soak down into aquifers. Evaporation ponds allow these horribly toxic chemicals to evaporate along with the water they’re dissolved in and to thus be distributed through rain.

These chemicals include benzene, lead, and antifreeze. Though all delicious, benzene smelling sweet and fruity, lead being mildly sweet, and antifreeze tasting like Kool-aid, these are not things you want anywhere near something that goes in your mouth. Benzene causes cancer and bone marrow failure, lead can lead to brain damage, and antifreeze has a nasty side effect of death.

No one likes it when your guest dies of death because he didn’t know not to drink the water you can light on fire. Stuff like that can really put a damper on your dinner party. I know government is for corporations, not for people, but come on guys, make this illegal.