Hipsters could not incite more hatred if they were all ginger-haired Al-Queda members. But being a hipster isn’t easy. The careless look and easy attitude takes hours– if not days– to perfect. If you want to be hipster, there are a few quintessential things that you must keep in mind:

First: There is an art to finding acceptable hipster clothing. The local thrift store is the hipster mecca and will suffice for all of your hipster needs. If you live in a particularly hipster-infested area, and the thrift stores are all picked over, Urban Outfitters or Modcloth.com will get the job done too.  Hipster staples tend to be skinny pants, and fitted v-neck t-shirts. Throw in some oxfords or Toms, a leather bag, your grandmother’s cat scarf, and a pair of ironic ever-present neon-colored Ray Ban wayfarers into the mix, and you’re all set to begin your journey to a hipper you. Plaid and anything vintage are pretty much guaranteed to bring up your hipster cred.

Second: Hipsters love tea. You don’t like tea? Learn to like it. Beautiful foreign teas are like life-fluid to a hipster. If you cut a hipster, they will bleed tea. The same goes for Russians.

Third: Hipsters love documentaries. It makes them feel aware. It makes them feel good in a guilty sort of way. It should make you feel good and guilty too. Sometimes they like documentaries just for the sake of liking documentaries. Kind of like Shark Week.

Fourth: Hipsters have very specific tastes in music. If you are not a music buff, don’t worry. Getting down to the nitty-gritty of hipster jams is easy if you do your research. Pandora is a great source for underground hipster-esque music. If you are looking to expand your hipster music collection, stick to bands such as Arcade Fire, Belle and Sebastian, or Fleet Foxes, as well as some mainstream hip-hop, such as Nicki Minaj or Lil’ Wayne, solely for the purpose of being ironic. And don’t forget to support your local bands by seeing their shows and name-dropping pretentiously (even if your best local band is just two dudes who play a 10-gallon bucket and washboard).

Last, and most importantly, practice denial. If someone asks if you are a hipster, say “no”. A true hipster always refutes their hipster status.

Now go mark your calender for Shark Week, lace up your oxfords, and ride your bike to your nearest thrift store to look for a hideous sweater.