Five Sure-Fire Ways To Make You Look Less Unattractive in Pictures

Five Sure-Fire Ways To Make You Look Less Unattractive in Pictures

As we move through life, we come across people that photograph really well simply because they were born beautiful and/or the camera loves them. The majority of us are not blessed with photogenicism, myself included. Sorry, that was rude.

But fear not friends, just because you’re not photogenic doesn’t mean you’re an unseemly, malformed troll-human who will inevitably die alone. In reality, there are so many factors that contribute to a person’s overall appearance (many of which have to do with personality and behavior) that a 2D image, sadly, cannot convey. For some of us, simply moving around or smiling naturally increases attractiveness by about a adslkfjillion percent.

All of this does not, however, change the fact that it sucks to be that one person who derps up the prom photo. If that’s you, I suggest that you write these down:

1. Always make weird faces in pictures. Always. People will assume you’re a natural jokester if you’re constantly sticking your tongue out and crossing your eyes. A great advantage of this funny-face maneuver is that nobody will have to know that your true picture persona has about five extra chins, ears that stick out like antennae, and facial blemishes that appear at the flash of a camera.

2. Stand next to the people that are even less photogenic than you are. Elbow your way past the beautiful picture people so you can stand next to the guy who always manages to have that really unfortunate pre-sneeze expression in photos, even when he isn’t sneezing, or the one who looks like a dinosaur. You’ll shine by comparison.

3. Sabotage the picture “by accident.” Sure, everyone groans when one person screws up the picture at the last minute by blinking or turning their head. However, if you pull this move twelve times in a row, eventually they’ll just crop you out.

4. Claim you can never be in any pictures, ever, because you’re a CIA operative hoping to one day occupy a covert position. This might not go over well when it comes time for yearbook photos or mug shots, but it’ll come in handy if you ever need to go into hiding and leave behind no evidence that you had ever existed. Better safe than sorry, as I always say. Plus, if you can pull it off, you’ll never have to feel the judging lens of a camera upon you ever again.

5. Suck it up and smile for the camera while secretly planning to either a) pickpocket the person’s camera and frantically delete the pictures, or b) untag yourself the minute those suckers pop up on Facebook.

Happy Prom season!

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