Three days before spring break, I arrived in Seattle, Washington with nine other members of the Newsstreak staff for a journalism conference. Even though we were there for academic reasons, there was plenty of time to wander around, so that’s what I did. As the group was waiting for an underground tour of the city, three of us went off to check out the city of Seattle, the crown jewel of the hipster community.

We left the building where we were waiting for our tour and beheld the most glorious sight in the world: “Utilikilts.” It sells exactly what you’d expect- Scottish kilts to be used for utility purposes. Unfortunately, the door to the business was locked, but I didn’t have to go inside to know that this was the place of my wildest dreams. Which brings me to my point: kilts rock.

Kilts were for warriors. The Scots of old wore their tartan war skirts into the bloodiest battles in history, rolling up to fight with axes in hand and a cool draft down below. It’s the best of both worlds. Kilts symbolize battle and manliness, as well as a great openness that keeps the butt sweat from building up during the fight.

Not only are kilts symbols of great acts of heroism, they’re associated with bagpipes, which are even better. Bagpipes make the music of the gods as you ride into battle. And just by being associated with bagpipes, kilts are ten times cooler.

Let’s summarize. Kilts make you feel more manly, they are the epitome of comfort and style, and, most importantly, you look amazing when you play a bagpipe while wearing them. I now believe my point is clear and true: kilts rock.